Finnish customs and etiquette

Finns will not tell you the rules, because to them they are not rules, they are just how things are. Here are the ones that matter, and the Finnish for each.

Silence is not a problem

A Finn who is silent is comfortable, listening or thinking. Nobody expects you to fill a pause. In a conversation, wait two seconds longer than you would at home before speaking; you will interrupt less and be understood more. Small talk exists but is short: the weather, the weekend, coffee. See small talk.

Shoes off

Indoors in a home, always. There is a hallway (eteinen) with a shelf for shoes and everyone uses it, including guests and repair people. Bring good socks to a dinner party.

Punctuality is respect

Meetings start at the minute. A dinner invitation for seven means arriving between seven and five past; earlier is as awkward as later. If you will be five minutes late, message.

Personal space and touch

Handshakes at first meetings, hugs only between friends, no cheek kissing. On the bus, people sit alone until every pair of seats has one person. Standing in a queue, a metre of space is normal; do not close it.

Coffee

Finland drinks more coffee per person than any other country, mostly filter coffee, black, at work in the morning and afternoon break. Otatko kahvia? is hospitality, and the answer is yes. Milk is offered; sugar less so.

Sinä or te

Finns address almost everyone as sinä (informal you), including bosses, doctors and shop assistants. Te (formal you) survives for elderly strangers, some customer service, and patients in hospitals. When in doubt, sinä; nobody is offended. See Finnish for care for the exceptions.

Honesty and modesty

Finns say what they mean and expect the same. A "maybe" means no. Praise is rare and therefore real. Boasting is disliked; understatement is the register. If someone says your Finnish is good, they mean it.

Queues and the number machine

Every office and pharmacy has a ticket machine (vuoronumero). Take a number, wait for it on the screen. Skipping is unthinkable. On the street, buses and shops, the queue is orderly and unspoken.

The home, the sauna, the cottage

An invitation to a home is a real honour and comes after months, not days. Bring something small: flowers, chocolate, a bottle. The sauna has its own page: sauna. An invitation to the cottage (mökki) is the highest level; say yes.

Nature and rights

Everyman's right lets anyone walk, pick berries and camp on private land within limits; the flip side is that nobody leaves litter. See nature and seasons.

What not to do

• Do not ask salaries, religion or why someone has no children.
• Do not hug on the first meeting.
• Do not talk on the phone loudly on public transport.
• Do not take the last piece from a shared plate without offering it around (Finns will leave it there forever; take it and you have made friends).

The Finnish for manners